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I can't win....son will be 4 in October and he still bites when he is mad. I feel like I get a bad report every other day from his preschool. We have tried postive reinforcement (reward chart, talking through it). We have tried some drastic efforts such as taking away toys and making him earn one a day back. The school has done timeouts in the managers office, they have put him with the younger kids to "match his behavior skills" and he has spent time out in the infants room as punishment. He doesn't react physically at home so I am forced to correct a behavior at a distance. I feel horrible and a bit of a failure. He is about to start pre-k so I feel like I need to get this under control. help please. He speaks well so I have ruled that out. Maybe he needs testing?

Tags: biting

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You indicate this does not happen at home.  Did he go to any other preschools, and if he did, did he bite other children at that facility?  Is something happening at the school?  Is he able to speak well enough to explain to you why it is happening?  We had an issue with our son when he was younger and we hired a psychologist to go to the classroom and observe him.  We learned quite a bit about what we needed to do for our son following the report.  If you would like to PM me, I will be glad to tell you more about our experience and the school psychologist we used. 

I had some behavior issues with my son when he was little, not as much biting, but meltdowns at school.  The solution that worked for him was Parent Child Interaction Therapy.  It took some time and dedication, but it worked wonderfully! 

Here is a reference: http://www.pcit.org/ or http://csl.phhp.ufl.edu/OurServices.htm

Even if you do not use that path, I suggest getting help for him now, this year, I took away some good research from the process that once kids get towards 6 years old they really start forming more permanent behavior patterns.  Kids don't come with manuals, you are not a failure, trust me, now on the other side, I can now tell stories and laugh about when he was little and am proud of where he is now.

he has been at the same school since age 1. He can tell me why usually and the teachers agree that he gets upset and frustrated, usually over a toy or not getting his way. We have a fairly structured home so we don't get the emotional meltdowns like the school does. I don't want to blame the school because I feel like they care, or at least enough that they haven't kicked him out. He does seem to act better when he is with older kids, they are able to converse with him better than the younger children. However, because of his behaviour, the school will not put him with the older group.

I can only imagine how tough this must be for you and your son. :-/ My first thought, like Cindy, was to see if maybe something is happening at school that is upsetting your little guy. I know preschool teachers are pulled in a hundred different direction, but do you think it would be possible for them to watch your little guy a little closer for a few days to try and catch him when he's getting upset before he goes in for a bite? I was also thinking maybe he could have something he can bite at school, or maybe something he can squeeze, when he is angry and needs to let some aggression out. Good luck! It will end eventually! Which I am sure doesn't really help right now :-(

My daughter was a bit younger when we had this issue.   She was placed in a younger class because she was smaller.  She could talk and the kids in the class were just starting so she got frustrated.  We got her moved up to a class with kids her own age and she stopped.   

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GainesvilleMoms.com moderator Stacy Fournier is a Gator grad and freelance journalist. But she does her most important work at home as a wife and mommy to daughters Aubrey, born March 2006, and Riley, born June 2010. Read more about GainesvilleMoms.com or contact Stacy at gainesvillemoms@gainesville.com.

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